Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
