if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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