im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
