I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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