I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
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I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
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My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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