His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
