Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
