I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
