I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
