We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize