There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
His nipple licking is glorious
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