ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
