hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
