There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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