his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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