I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize