3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
In America we eat man semen.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
