Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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