i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
