I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
