Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
