he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
