im gay
i know
yea but for you.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
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I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
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is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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