My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
