my soul wont recognize me after tonight
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
