saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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