So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
