Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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