if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
