Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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