My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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