the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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