Slut skills are useful in every country.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
