I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
