He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
