Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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