i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
