a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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