Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
