I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize