YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
