bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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