It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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