it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm always down for nudity.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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