come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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