i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize