Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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