My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
