When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
