pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
