And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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