Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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