so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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