This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
