I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
