Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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