my mouth tastes like poor choices
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Randomize
