she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
