***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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