Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
