Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Randomize
