I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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