This girl is more easily done than said...
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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