I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
