Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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