Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
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I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
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Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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