Fuck appropriateness.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
