i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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