just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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