Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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