You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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