walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I need moral support for this bender
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
