forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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