we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
