his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
